So, if you go off the diet and return to your old eating habits without making any adjustments (like moderately increasing your exercise level), you're likely to gain weight faster because your metabolism has become accustomed to burning calories more slowly. If you try to diet again, the same situation will probably happen again when you stop. You might now weigh more than when you started: you've become a "yo-yo dieter," which means your weight goes up a bit after each loss of weight, hence the image of a yo-yo on a string.
But you don't like the weight gain! You find out about purging and decide to try it. You weigh yourself before a big meal—and after you've eaten and purged it—and discover that you haven't gained any weight, and perhaps have even lost a bit due to the amount of fluids you've purged. If youVe vomited, the rush you get from noting the sensation of physical emptiness is enough to offset any initial disgust. If you overdosed on laxatives, the incorrect idea that you might not have gained anything from your binge helps you ignore the discomfort of the resulting explosive diarrhea. You pay no attention to the muscle weakness and lightheadedness that seems to follow any use of a diuretic.
You binge and purge on several more occasions, and it becomes easier to discount the physical side effects. Your initial feelings of revulsion or fear are soon replaced by the compulsion to repeat these behaviors; after a while you stop thinking logically about what you're doing. You just feel like you have to do it. You're hooked.
Sometimes when I purge I go at it point-blank and do it and I don't even consider my emotions. It's often just habit, an instant fix; I don't have to care about anything for the time being and I can move on with my life. I know that without it, I'll look and feel bad tomorrow. If I were honest, I'd admit that with it, I look and feel bad, today.
At this point, your life changes. Bingeing becomes the focus of your energies. You may find yourself thinking about food when you first awaken in the morning. You may try to organize your activities so that a certain amount of time is left free for bingeing. Your urge is probably strongest on days when you're particularly bored, tense, angry, or depressed. You may find that you need that binge to be able to move from one aspect of your day to another, such as from school to home life, or to mark the transition from work to relaxation.
Right before you actually begin a binge, you'll probably experience feelings of tension and anxiety, perhaps have heart palpitations and break into a sweat. It's important to recognize these physical sensations. Your body is alerting you to the probability that you 're in apre-binge state.
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